No Sleep for Three Nights In a Row

Two weeks ago while attending Du's training session at his office, I caught a nasty cough - one which tested my patience, and my endurance.

It got worse over that weekend and was a sinus related problem, which saw me suffering from a bad blocked nose especially at night. The cough was caused by the itch that irritated my throat. It was terrible, and on Monday I had to give the clinic a visit as I could not afford to get ill with Kierra starting school the same week. A couple of days later, I was feeling much better but Du got worse, but he did not bother seeing the doctor and so he was coughing a lot more. Somehow, as I never fully recovered from it, I caught another version of probably the same thing. We decided that we should really see a doctor before it gets any worse, since both girls were still fine and we didn't want to risk them getting it.

Unfortunately, Du probably has done enough harm by not seeing a doctor early to clear it. Kieona caught it and showed symptoms of breathlessness from last Wednesday. It developed into mild cough on Thursday night/ Friday morning. It being Good Friday, we could not get a doctor so we chose to rent some videos and stayed home most of the day to watch them. Friday night itself, it got worse and she was waking up to cough or pass urine. As I was on the alert, I could not sleep much and kept alert throughout the night while lying down in bed. The next day, I was nevertheless tired, but I took heart that she can pay the clinic a visit that morning and get some relief in the form of medication.

Saturday came and went, and she fell asleep while we were out at Du's uncle's birthday celebrations. By this time she probably got worse, so that night after we settled in bed I was literally getting out of bed every half an hour to let her take sips of water and bringing her to the toilet. My mood naturally was not in the pink of health on Sunday, as I had already missed two nights of sleep but I was still manageable as we stayed home for the day. Came night and I was really tired, falling asleep on the bed even while the girls were still playing (on the bed of course) and Du was still in the study. As Kieona looked better during the day, I thought that I finally will have a good night's rest to make up for the past two nights.

Alas! She woke up frequently for toilet breaks, although the cough was minimal. Then at three plus in the morning, it got to the state where she was asking me to bring her to the loo every five or ten minutes. Needless to say, I am furious. How can anyone not be after putting in so much effort at staying up the past two nights? What's more, she started crying when I told her to go to bed after she insisted on me holding her hands at about 4am.

I was even more furious with Du, as he mentioned a few days ago that all of us don't get to sleep once Kieona is ill. What bullshit! These few nights, he hardly stirred even when Kieona was wasking up so much to take over from me at least one or two times. He did not even ask if I needed help, so where was "the whole family suffers" thingy? Plus the fact that I had to frequently stay alert means that I don't go into deep sleep at all and I have not exactly fully recovered. Which leads me to think that it is probably because of lack of rest that my body was weak enough for the same virus to attack again.

Sometimes I really wonder why he will always explain that I am most important to him when from his actions, I seem second-rate. Why then is he often late in our appointments when he was never late with others? Why then will he leave me alone to deal with the two girls when I was not in the best of my mental health? Why then are we always expected to visit his dad when I hate that place?

Maybe it will take me a lifetime of marriage to find out how much I really mean in this equation. Or maybe just three nights not having much of a rest has affected me enough to think otherwise.