Never had much faith in marriage

Actually I think sometimes our union is a little bit strange. Nothing to do with Du, but more with myself. I've always been pretty skeptical about marriages until we got together. In fact, my past philosophy was that I prefer to enjoy a relationship only in its present state, and have no belief that any relationships can last the test of time.

Perhaps this attitude is very much influenced by the fact that I have seen too many marriages break up from my father's family. So many cases of divorce and extramarital affairs. Nothing seems to last. Even my parents at one point were on the verge of break-up. At that time when my mother discussed with me whether they should get a divorce (I think I was in my late teens and in Uni), I was nonchalent about it and told her that my frank opinion is that I will give her my blessings. And she has a right to decide for herself. Well, at that time it never mattered to me. Everyone else was getting divorced at some point.

During college days, I had a lot of guys who were pretty much interested in starting relationships with me, but I was only interested in the highs I get from the adoration. Of course, I earned the reputation of having many "boyfriends". Actually they were never really my "boyfriends", although I shared pretty special friendships with many guys simply because I love their company, their adoration, and their forthrightness compared to many of my other girlfriends. Ok, I admit at some point I had hurt a lot of male egos but that was all in the past where such things never bothered me.

After I got to know Du, my whole outlook on relationships slowly changed. Actually at the point I was also looking for companions. Although I had a few keen suitors where I worked, they were mainly Caucasions and many were on working stints in Singapore residents. I enjoyed the attention, but craved more for a stable relationship. I wasn't sure if having relationships with non-Chinese will be easy, and I didn't like the idea of explaining everything to a "angmoh". In fact, shortly after we started going out, I told him that if we do not find each other suitable within a year, I'll want to move on... since I had a deadline for relationships myself. Thinking back, it was kinda silly, but I guess I was just being very rational and I knew just what I wanted.

Once our relationship became more stable, I was looking forward to his flights back once every 3 months. So I was not exactly the kind who believe in absense makes the heart grows fonder. I wanted to see him everyday. His attitude towards our relationship changed how I see things. He treated me seriously and with respect. For once, I was seeing somebody who loves me for who I am and wants to settle down with me so soon after we started going out. Many men I knew were more interested in my body. I know, because they always said I had a good figure, and some always seem to strip me with their eyes.

Although we've only been together for 6 years and married for 5, I am starting to believe that this relationship will and can last, as long as we work together.